The Parent Book.
Therapist-written support for parents
What helps
General mental health
General mental health
General mental health
This is about how your child is doing in general, without pinning it to one diagnosis or one moment. These pages look at how mood, sleep, appetite, friendship and energy change over months and years, for the parent learning to look beyond a single bad week to the longer pattern.
What the library says about this, on one page. It is also online at theparentbook.com/help/general-mental-health
What to do first
You don’t need a diagnosis, or certainty, to act. Most parents who bring us a worry have kept it to themselves for months, and almost all of them wish they’d spoken sooner.
- Write down what you’ve noticed, with dates. Focus on the pattern, not the worst day, because the pattern is what a GP or a school can actually work with.
- Ask your child one open question and then stop talking: “How have you been, apart from how school’s going?” Then leave the silence alone.
- Book a double GP appointment and take your written list. Ten minutes goes quickly.
Some tips to try
Short pieces from the library, and a first thing to try from each.
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Living With Her Diagnosis at Home.
The diagnosis is part of family life now, but most of life isn’t about it.
- Don’t organise the household around the diagnosis.
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When the Medication Changes.
A change in her dose is information, and in most cases it doesn’t mean anything is going wrong.
- Take the change as information about her growing body, not a verdict.
- Explain it calmly: “The doctor thinks this will work a bit better.”
- It also helps to give her a simple way to think about it: “The doctor has changed the dose because she thinks this will work a bit better.
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The Day She Gets a Mental Health Diagnosis.
A diagnosis puts a name to what she has been going through.
- Treat the diagnosis as information about how to help her.
The rest of each tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.
Worth your time
- A book for you: Helping Your Child with Fears and Worries, Cathy Creswell and Lucy Willetts. A step-by-step programme showing parents how to guide an anxious child of about 4–12 through facing fears, using the parent-led CBT approach tested in UK clinical trials. uk.bookshop.org/p/books/helping-your-child-with-fears-and-worries-2nd-edition-a-self-help-guide-for-parents-cathy-creswell/7b09ac621d62bc9d
- A book to read together: A Beginner’s Guide to Being Mental: An A–Z, Natasha Devon. An A to Z of mental health from the campaigner and former government mental health champion for schools. Frank, funny and myth-busting, it suits older teenagers who want information rather than a workbook. uk.bookshop.org/p/books/a-beginner-s-guide-to-being-mental-an-a-z-natasha-devon/a49966cb9a620361
- Something to watch: Talking Mental Health, Anna Freud, YouTube. An animation for primary-age children introducing the idea that everyone has mental health, and that feelings can be talked about. A calm opener for a first family conversation. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrjevx3-Js
- Something to listen to: 111: What Kind of Therapy is Right for My Kid?, Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life, 30 min. Damour gives a neutral guide to the kinds of therapy a child might be offered, including CBT, DBT, play, family and talking therapies, and which tend to suit which difficulties. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/111-what-kind-of-therapy-is-right-for-my-kid/id1525689066?i=1000605118998
Who else can help
For almost everything, the NHS is the right first move, and it costs nothing.
- Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
- NHS 111, and Lifeline in Northern Ireland. The mental health crisis line for your area. Free, confidential and answered twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year. When you or your child is in mental health crisis and it will not wait for a GP appointment. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health optionNorthern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
- YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline
- NHS: mental health advice for parents and carers. The NHS’s pages for parents, in one place: anxiety, low mood, anger, bereavement, arguments with teenagers, exam stress, and how to talk about feelings. When you want the NHS’s own account before anyone else’s. www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents
- Mind. The UK’s mental health charity. Pages written for parents of a struggling young person, an Infoline that points you to the right service, and a Support Line that will simply listen. When your own reserves are running low and you want to talk to someone who is not the GP, your partner or a friend. Not for a crisis. Not a crisis line. If tonight is urgent, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393 · Mon-Fri 9am-6pm (except bank holidays) · Mind Support Line 0300 102 1234, Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, for emotional support rather than signposting · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/information-for-parents
The full list for general mental health, with what each organisation does and when it is the right call, is at theparentbook.com/help/general-mental-health/services
Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.
Everything the library holds on general mental health
Go further
Quick tips
- Living With Her Diagnosis at HomeThe diagnosis is part of family life now, but most of life isn’t about it.
- When the Medication ChangesA change in her dose is information, and in most cases it doesn’t mean anything is going wrong.
- The Day She Gets a Mental Health DiagnosisA diagnosis puts a name to what she has been going through.
- The NHS as a Whole SystemPrimary care, secondary care, CAMHS, A&E, the urgent advice lines. The map is worth holding.
- Your First GP Visit in the UKRegister with a GP as soon as you arrive; in the UK, almost all NHS care starts there.
- The Medication on Your Bedside TableFor the parent who has not named her own medication out loud.
Quick tips open with a subscription.
Worry, mood and big feelings
Every subjectWho else can help with general mental healthUrgent help