General mental health

Where to start

For almost everything, the NHS is the right first move, and it costs nothing.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• NHS 111, and Lifeline in Northern Ireland. The mental health crisis line for your area. Free, confidential and answered twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year. When you or your child is in mental health crisis and it will not wait for a GP appointment. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health optionNorthern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
• NHS Talking Therapies. Free NHS therapy for adults in England, for anxiety and low mood. You can refer yourself; you do not need to go through your GP first. For the parent. A great many of the parents we sit with are carrying something of their own, and waiting for someone to ask. www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.

For general mental health

• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline
• NHS: mental health advice for parents and carers. The NHS’s pages for parents, in one place: anxiety, low mood, anger, bereavement, arguments with teenagers, exam stress, and how to talk about feelings. When you want the NHS’s own account before anyone else’s. www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents
• Mind. The UK’s mental health charity. Pages written for parents of a struggling young person, an Infoline that points you to the right service, and a Support Line that will simply listen. When your own reserves are running low and you want to talk to someone who is not the GP, your partner or a friend. Not for a crisis. Not a crisis line. If tonight is urgent, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393 · Mon-Fri 9am-6pm (except bank holidays) · Mind Support Line 0300 102 1234, Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, for emotional support rather than signposting · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/information-for-parents
• Hub of Hope. A free directory of local and national mental health services, searched by postcode and by what you need, with separate routes for under-twenty-fives and for urgent help. When you want to know what actually exists near you, for you or for your child. A directory, not a service. It tells you what exists near you. hubofhope.co.uk
• The Mix. A free service for under-twenty-fives on anything at all: a twenty-four-hour crisis text line, peer chat, short-term counselling and discussion boards. Something to give your teenager rather than use yourself. The text line is there at three in the morning. For the young person rather than the parent. Crisis text 24/7; counselling, peer chat and boards by arrangement www.themix.org.uk/get-support
• Royal College of Psychiatrists. Plain-English leaflets written by psychiatrists for parents on ADHD, autism, behaviour, sleep, trauma, and on how CAMHS works. When you want the professional body’s account of a condition or of what an NHS referral will involve. Reading only. www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-people

If your child is self-harming, or has spoken about not wanting to be here

• Sift (formerly Self-Injury Support). The UK’s self-harm charity. A free evening listening service by phone, text or email for anyone affected by self-harm, including parents, plus a guide written for family members. When you have found a mark and need to talk to someone who has had this conversation many times. Evenings only; outside those hours use the numbers at the top of this sheet. This service has limited helpline hours. Outside those hours, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Sift listening support 0808 800 8088 · Phone Mon, Tue and Thu 6pm-9pm; text Mon-Fri 6pm-9pm; email answered within a week · Outside those hours the phone line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. sift.org.uk/get-help/listening-support-services
• Alumina (online self-harm support for 10 to 17s). Free seven-week online support groups for ten to seventeen year olds who self-harm, small and anonymous, led by trained practitioners. Your child signs up themselves; under-fourteens need your permission. For a young person who will not talk to you but might talk in a group of people their age. Not for a crisis. For the young person. Not a crisis service. www.selfharm.co.uk

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.