The school yearTerm by term
The school year.
What tends to come up for families through the year, and where the library can help. Your school’s term names and dates may differ from these.
Each subject the library covers also has a free page: what to do first, what helps, and who else can help.
SeptemberA new year
The year brings a new form and new teachers and, for some children, a new school, a first term of boarding or the start of Reception. The first weeks can be more tiring than they look, so give her something to eat and some quiet before you ask about her day. In the upper sixth, university applications are being written.
- A chapterThe Move to Secondary SchoolFor parents whose child is about to go from being one of the oldest in her school to one of the youngest.
- A quick tipThe Question at the School GateIn the first weeks at a new school, children are often too tired to answer questions at the gate.
- Something to do togetherA page about me, for a new teacherBefore a new class or a new school, she tells her teacher, in her own words, what she enjoys, what she finds hard and what helps. You write it down together and hand it in.
October half-termA first look back
Half-term is a chance to see how your child has come through the first weeks, and how you have. Friendships from the first fortnight may have loosened, which is often part of settling in. If something has bothered you since September, write down what you have noticed before you ring the school.
- A quick tipThe Friend of the First FortnightMany September friendships loosen by half-term, and usually neither child has done anything wrong.
- A quick tipSay What You Have NoticedWhen you ring the school, describe what you’ve seen, with dates, so staff know what to look for.
- A sheet to printBefore you ring the schoolWhat you’ve noticed, with dates, who to speak to and what you agreed. A school can look for a pattern if it’s told about it.
The run to ChristmasA long term
By December the term feels long. Some 11+ tests fall before Christmas and some in January, Year 11 and the upper sixth may sit mocks, and families across two homes are planning Christmas.
- A chapterThe 11+ YearFor parents whose child is preparing for school entrance exams.
- Something to do togetherA day with no 11+ in itOne day a week, and a few evenings, with no papers, no practice and no talk of the test. Keep it most weeks, and let it go when a week slips.
- A quick tipTwo Birthdays, Two ChristmasesAgree the year’s special days with the other parent in advance, so she is never the one who has to choose.
JanuaryBack to routine
Term routines can take a week or two to settle, and for some children a Sunday-evening stomach ache comes back with them. If it keeps happening, tell the school, and see your GP about anything physical. Mock results start to come home, and it is a good month to lay the last few reports side by side and look for the comment that keeps appearing.
- A quick tipSunday Evening Has Started HurtingWhen Sunday evenings start to hurt, there is usually more than one reason, so slow down before deciding which conversation to have.
- Something to do togetherAfter a mockThe same routine after every practice paper: collect her, give her something to eat, walk home, and ask nothing about the paper that day.
- A quick tipThe Report That Keeps Repeating ItselfWhen the same comment turns up in three years of school reports, take it seriously.
FebruaryOffers, and a week at home
In many London schools, 11+ offers and scholarship results arrive in the middle of February. A child whose friends have had different news may say very little. If the news is disappointing, let her be disappointed for a while before anyone talks about what comes next, and let her see that you feel about her exactly as you did the day before. Half-term can show you how the term has been for everyone.
- A chapterThe 11+ YearFor parents whose child is preparing for school entrance exams.
- A quick tipWhen Ambition Is Really AnxietyAn anxious high achiever can look exactly like a teenager with healthy ambition.
- Something to do togetherTime alone with each childA regular time with each of your children on her own, doing something she chooses. Keep it short enough to protect every week.
MarchChoices
In most schools, Year 9 choose their GCSE options this term. The upper sixth hear from universities from the autumn until May, and some of them are weighing a year out. A choice made now can feel larger to her than it looks to you.
EasterA revision holiday
For Year 11 and the upper sixth, Easter is a revision holiday. Keep family meals, time outside and one thing each week that has nothing to do with exams. A child who has been anxious all term may only now show you how tired she is.
- A quick tipThe Child Who Looks FineA teenager with good grades and teachers who say she’s fine can still be anxious and exhausted.
- Something to do togetherWorry time, not at bedtimeTen minutes at the same time each afternoon for her worries. If one comes up at another time, you listen, write it down and save it for then.
The summer termExams
GCSEs and A levels begin in May, other years sit their own exams, and Year 8 children taking Common Entrance sit it in late May or June. In exam weeks, ask less about revision than you would like to.
The end of the yearGoodbyes
The last weeks bring prize-giving, leavers’ events and goodbyes, for some children to a whole school. Mark the ending with a last look round and a list of what she will miss, and whether or not she won a prize, tell her what you saw her do this year.
- Something to do togetherMarking the endingIn the last weeks at a school, offer her a few pages for what she will miss, and perhaps a card for a teacher. It is up to her, and she keeps what she makes.
- A sheet to printWhat I will missTwo blank pages for the last weeks at a school, for what she’ll miss and what she’s looking forward to. They’re hers to keep.
- A quick tipPraise That Tells Her SomethingDescribe what she did and how she did it, which tells her far more than a verdict on how clever she is.
The summer holidaysResults, and what comes next
GCSE and A level results days fall in August, and IB results come in early July. Some young people are getting ready to leave for university. Before a new school, move bedtime back towards term time, and walk the route twice: once together, and once with her leading.
- A quick tipThe Day the GCSE Results CameWhatever her GCSE grades, respond warmly, and if they’re disappointing, leave decisions for another day.
- A quick tipThe Week Before She LeavesThe week before she leaves for university is one of the hardest; do less than you think it needs.
- Something to do togetherThe route, twice, and the mapBefore term, do the route once together and once with her leading, and draw the few rooms that matter.