She Has Just Told You About the Bullying

What you do in the first ten minutes decides whether she tells you the next thing.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 7 to 13.

Where to start

Thank her for telling you, and sit on the edge of the bed.
Unless she is in danger, don’t act tonight; the school and the next steps can wait until tomorrow.
You’ll want to do something at once: ring the school, ring the other parent, take the phone off her. Each of those is you, alarmed, reaching for the feeling of having done something, and none of them is what helps in the first ten minutes. Unless she is in danger, the phone, the school and the next steps can wait until tomorrow.
If the school hasn’t been able to sort it out, the specialist anti-bullying charity has the clearest advice for parents we know on what to do next, and its own advice line. Coram Kidscape, 0300 102 4481. WhatsApp 07496 682785. Email pal@coramkidscape.org.uk. Mon-Tue 9.30am-2.30pm; reduced over the summer holidays. Voicemail, email and WhatsApp accepted outside hours. If a child is at risk of harm now, do not wait for a reply: call the police on 101, or 999 if anyone is in immediate danger. Help is free.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

When Your Child Is Being Bullied. For parents whose child has just told them she is being bullied.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Bullying. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
School stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.