The walk with no agenda

The activity

Walk with her at the same time each week, side by side. Some weeks she will talk, and you still go on the weeks she does not.

What it is for. Many children say the hardest things when nobody is looking straight at them. A regular walk gives her a chance to say them, without any pressure to.

• The first step. Choose a time you can keep most weeks, and a route you both know. A familiar walk is easy to start.

Safety. For under-fives, hold hands near traffic; the looking walk is best on a quiet route.

When to get help. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, that she is hurting herself, or that she does not want to be alive, finish the walk calmly, thank her for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If a change in her mood or behaviour lasts for several weeks, gets worse, or begins to affect sleep, eating or school, talk to her school and your GP.

The other four steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: The walk with no agenda.

It goes with

• When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.
• The Conversations Parents Avoid. For parents who need to tell their child something hard and don’t know how to start.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Difficult conversations. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Parenting strategy. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.