Trauma

Where to start

For almost everything, the NHS is the right first move, and it costs nothing.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For trauma

• Anna Freud. The Anna Freud Centre’s family wellbeing resources: careful, research-led reading on children’s emotional development, separation, self-care for parents, and supporting a child through treatment. When you want depth from a clinical source rather than a quick explainer. Reading only; there is no helpline. www.annafreud.org/resources/family-wellbeing
• NSPCC. The NSPCC helpline is for adults worried about a child. You do not have to be sure, you can call anonymously, and they will tell you whether it needs to go further and help you take that step. When something has been said or seen and you do not know what to do with it. Childline, 0800 1111, is the line for a child to call themselves. NSPCC Helpline (for adults) 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline
• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline

If your child is self-harming, or has spoken about not wanting to be here

• Sift (formerly Self-Injury Support). The UK’s self-harm charity. A free evening listening service by phone, text or email for anyone affected by self-harm, including parents, plus a guide written for family members. When you have found a mark and need to talk to someone who has had this conversation many times. Evenings only; outside those hours use the numbers at the top of this sheet. This service has limited helpline hours. Outside those hours, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Sift listening support 0808 800 8088 · Phone Mon, Tue and Thu 6pm-9pm; text Mon-Fri 6pm-9pm; email answered within a week · Outside those hours the phone line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. sift.org.uk/get-help/listening-support-services
• Alumina (online self-harm support for 10 to 17s). Free seven-week online support groups for ten to seventeen year olds who self-harm, small and anonymous, led by trained practitioners. Your child signs up themselves; under-fourteens need your permission. For a young person who will not talk to you but might talk in a group of people their age. Not for a crisis. For the young person. Not a crisis service. www.selfharm.co.uk

If there is abuse between the adults at home

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge). A free, confidential line open day and night for women experiencing abuse at home, and for anyone worried about someone who is, with live chat in the daytime. When the fear at home is between the adults, and the children are living inside it. National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 · 24 hours, every day; live chat Mon-Fri 10am-10pm www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• Men’s Advice Line (run by Respect). A free, confidential advice line and webchat for men experiencing abuse at home. The same moment as the line above, for fathers. Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327 · Mon-Fri 10am-5pm; webchat Mon-Fri 9am-10am mensadviceline.org.uk
• Women’s Aid. Written guidance you can read quietly, a directory of local refuges and services, live chat, and a site for teenagers on what a healthy relationship looks like. When you are not ready to ring anyone yet. www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.