Parent wellbeing

Where to start

You can refer yourself. You do not need anyone’s permission, and you do not need to be in crisis to qualify.

• NHS Talking Therapies. Free NHS therapy for adults in England, for anxiety and low mood. You can refer yourself; you do not need to go through your GP first. For the parent. A great many of the parents we sit with are carrying something of their own, and waiting for someone to ask. www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For parent wellbeing

• Mind. The UK’s mental health charity. Pages written for parents of a struggling young person, an Infoline that points you to the right service, and a Support Line that will simply listen. When your own reserves are running low and you want to talk to someone who is not the GP, your partner or a friend. Not for a crisis. Not a crisis line. If tonight is urgent, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393 · Mon-Fri 9am-6pm (except bank holidays) · Mind Support Line 0300 102 1234, Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, for emotional support rather than signposting · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/information-for-parents
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• Family Action FamilyLine. A free helpline for adults on family relationships, conflict, parenting, caring and money, by phone, text, email or chat, with befriending or short counselling if it would help. When the strain is on you and there is no one to say it to. FamilyLine 0808 802 6666 · Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; closed bank holidays. Out of hours, text FAMILYACTION to 85258 family-action.org.uk/get-support/familyline
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). A free evening line, webchat and WhatsApp for anyone over eighteen who is struggling or having suicidal thoughts, and for anyone worried about someone who is. Between 5pm and midnight every day. CALM is open from 5pm to midnight every day. Outside those hours, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. CALM Helpline and Webchat 0800 58 58 58 · Daily 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year · Webchat and WhatsApp at the same hours · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.thecalmzone.net/suicide-prevention-helpline
• Home-Start UK. Trained volunteers who visit families with young children at home, week by week, and local groups. You can refer yourself. When the early years are harder than anyone told you and what you need is another adult in the house. What is offered varies by area. What is offered, and how long the wait is, vary by area. The local branch is the right first call. www.home-start.org.uk/find-your-nearest-home-start

In pregnancy and the first years

• PANDAS Foundation. Support for parents, mothers and fathers both, whose mental health has suffered in pregnancy or since the birth: WhatsApp every day, booked calls with trained volunteers, and peer groups. When the baby years are darker than you expected and you have not said so to anyone. WhatsApp 8am-10pm every day; free call-backs booked through the website pandasfoundation.org.uk

If the strain is in the relationship

• Relate (part of Family Action). Relationship, family and young people’s counselling, online or at a local centre, with a short first call to see whether it fits. When the trouble is between the adults and the children are catching it. Fees apply; local centres are separate charities. Fees apply. Local Relate centres are separate charities. www.relate.org.uk

If drinking, your own or someone else’s, is part of it

• Nacoa (National Association for Children of Alcoholics). A free helpline and email service for anyone affected by a parent’s drinking, open six days a week, and one of the few lines a child can call directly. When a parent’s drinking is shaping the household, whether you are the other parent or the child. Nacoa Helpline 0800 358 3456 · Mon-Sat 10am-7pm · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and a child or young person can call Childline free on 0800 1111 at any hour. nacoa.org.uk/helpline
• Al-Anon Family Groups (including Alateen). Free support groups, in person and online, for anyone affected by someone else’s drinking, a daily helpline, and Alateen groups for twelve to seventeen year olds. When the drinking is a relative’s and you need people who have lived with it. Al-Anon helpline 0800 0086 811 · Every day 10am-10pm al-anonuk.org.uk/getting-help/helpline

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.