Identity

Where to start

This usually starts at school rather than at the surgery. The adults who see your child every day are the first people to tell, and often the fastest route to a change. The GP is there if it persists or deepens.

• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For identity

• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline
• The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network (BAATN). The largest UK directory of therapists of Black, African, Asian and Caribbean heritage, searchable by area and specialism. When it matters that the therapist understands your family’s cultural reference points without being taught them. A directory; BAATN does not provide the therapy itself. A directory of therapists rather than a helpline. BAATN does not provide the therapy itself. www.baatn.org.uk/find-a-psych-therapist

If your family is adoptive, fostering or kinship

• PAC-UK. Specialist post-adoption support, part of Family Action. An advice line staffed by adoption specialists and social workers, and a route into trauma-informed therapy. When peer support is no longer enough and the family needs clinical help, including a teenager searching for birth family. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. PAC-UK Advice Line, part of Family Action 0300 1800 090 · Mon-Wed 10am-4pm; Thu 10am-7pm; Fri 10am-1pm family-action.org.uk/get-support/pac-uk-adoption-and-special-guardianship-support
• Adoption UK. The peer-led charity for adoptive and kinship families. A weekday advice line, peer support and resources on school and on adopted teenagers. For the everyday texture of adoptive family life, and the school assignments and questions that catch families out. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Adoption UK Helpline 0300 666 0006 · Mon-Fri 10am-2.30pm; Northern Ireland Mon-Fri 9am-5pm www.adoptionuk.org/helpline
• The Fostering Network. The UK’s fostering charity. A free advice line in each nation and a large library on settling a placement, handling a child’s history and endings. At any point in a placement, from the first seventy-two hours onward. Foster carers who are members can also use a 24-hour legal helpline. Fosterline (England) and The Fostering Network advice lines 0800 040 7675 · England Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; Scotland 10am-4pm; Wales 9.30am-12.30pm; Northern Ireland 9.30am-1.30pm www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/for-carers/get-advice/the-fostering-network-advice-lines
• Kinship. The charity for grandparents, relatives and family friends raising a child. A free advice line, bookable one-to-one appointments, and peer groups across England and Wales. For the legal, financial, school and emotional layers of raising a child who is not your own by birth. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Kinship Advice Line 0300 123 7015 · Mon-Fri 10.30am-1pm, excluding public holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. kinship.org.uk/support-and-advice/talk-to-someone/contact-the-kinship-advice-team

For bilingual and internationally mobile families

• Bilingualism Matters. A research network, founded at the University of Edinburgh, with plainly written, evidence-based guidance on raising a bilingual child: what to expect, what not to worry about, and how to keep the home language alive. When school English is winning and the heritage language is slipping. Reading; there is no helpline. www.bilingualism-matters.org/resources
• Families in Global Transition. An international community for families who move between countries, with writing, research and a bookshop on what it is to grow up between cultures. When your child asks where home is and you do not have a one-word answer. International, not UK-specific. International, not UK-specific. There is no UK charity for this. www.figt.org

If the question is about sexuality or gender

• Brook. The young people’s sexual health charity. Calm pages for parents on puberty, periods and talking about sex and relationships at home. When the question has arrived in the back of the car. Reading; the clinics are for young people themselves. www.brook.org.uk/parents-and-carers
• FFLAG (parents and families of LGBT+ people). Parents of LGBT+ children supporting other parents: a helpline staffed by volunteers who have been where you are, email support, online and local groups, and plainly written guides. When you want to talk to another parent before you talk to anyone else. Peer support, not clinical advice. Standard call rate. Parents supporting parents, not clinical advice. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. FFLAG helpline 0300 688 0368 · Wed-Thu 10am-8pm; Fri-Sat 10am-6pm · Email support and Zoom parent groups via the website · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.fflag.org.uk

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.