Eating disorders

Where to start

This one is medical, and early treatment matters more than in almost anything else in this library. See the GP this week and ask for a physical check and an eating disorder referral.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• NHS 111, and Lifeline in Northern Ireland. The mental health crisis line for your area. Free, confidential and answered twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year. When you or your child is in mental health crisis and it will not wait for a GP appointment. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health optionNorthern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.

For eating disorders

• Beat (the UK’s eating disorder charity). The UK’s eating disorder charity. A free helpline, webchat and email, and, for parents specifically, a free twelve-week one-to-one support programme and an online learning hub for families. As soon as eating has become a worry, and alongside the GP, not instead. You do not need a diagnosis to call. BEAT Helplines England 0808 801 0677, Scotland 0808 801 0432, Wales 0808 801 0433, Northern Ireland 0808 801 0434 · Mon-Fri 3pm-8pm · One-to-one webchat and email (help@, Scotlandhelp@, Waleshelp@ or NIhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk) at the same hours · Outside those hours the line is closed. If your child is physically unwell, use the urgent routes on this page, which are open when this line is not. www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/support-someone-else
• NHS: eating disorders, advice for parents. The NHS’s own page for parents: how to raise it with your child, what to do at mealtimes, and how to look after yourself while you do. The first thing to read, before the GP appointment. www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/advice-for-parents
• Charlie Waller Trust. A free course of five online workshops for parents and carers of a young person with an eating disorder, teaching the Maudsley carer-skills approach: what to say, how to respond to difficult behaviour, how to plan for setbacks. Once treatment is underway and you want to be part of it rather than watching it. Dates are on the page. charliewaller.org/what-we-offer/eating-disorder-workshops-for-parents-and-carers
• FEAST (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders). Parents of children with eating disorders supporting other parents: a long-running forum, moderated groups, a free thirty-day daily email for families at the start, and peer mentoring. From the first weeks, when you need to hear from people a year ahead of you. International, so treatment questions go to Beat and the NHS. www.feast-ed.org
• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline

If your child is self-harming, or has spoken about not wanting to be here

• Sift (formerly Self-Injury Support). The UK’s self-harm charity. A free evening listening service by phone, text or email for anyone affected by self-harm, including parents, plus a guide written for family members. When you have found a mark and need to talk to someone who has had this conversation many times. Evenings only; outside those hours use the numbers at the top of this sheet. This service has limited helpline hours. Outside those hours, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Sift listening support 0808 800 8088 · Phone Mon, Tue and Thu 6pm-9pm; text Mon-Fri 6pm-9pm; email answered within a week · Outside those hours the phone line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. sift.org.uk/get-help/listening-support-services
• Alumina (online self-harm support for 10 to 17s). Free seven-week online support groups for ten to seventeen year olds who self-harm, small and anonymous, led by trained practitioners. Your child signs up themselves; under-fourteens need your permission. For a young person who will not talk to you but might talk in a group of people their age. Not for a crisis. For the young person. Not a crisis service. www.selfharm.co.uk

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.