Community support

Where to start

What helps here is mostly local and mostly free. Between them, the school, the council and Citizens Advice know what exists near you.

• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Your local authority. The council’s children’s services and SEND team. They hold statutory assessment, the Local Offer, and early help for families who need more than a school can give. When school-level support has been tried and is not enough, or when you want to know what your area actually provides. www.gov.uk/find-local-council
• Citizens Advice. Free, independent advice on the practical layer: housing, benefits, debt, employment, and your rights when a family separates. When the worry is partly a practical problem wearing an emotional coat. Solving the practical part often lowers the temperature at home more than anything else will. www.citizensadvice.org.uk

For community support

• Hub of Hope. A free directory of local and national mental health services, searched by postcode and by what you need, with separate routes for under-twenty-fives and for urgent help. When you want to know what actually exists near you, for you or for your child. A directory, not a service. It tells you what exists near you. hubofhope.co.uk
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• Home-Start UK. Trained volunteers who visit families with young children at home, week by week, and local groups. You can refer yourself. When the early years are harder than anyone told you and what you need is another adult in the house. What is offered varies by area. What is offered, and how long the wait is, vary by area. The local branch is the right first call. www.home-start.org.uk/find-your-nearest-home-start
• Netmums. A large parenting forum, with drop-in boards where health visitors and other professionals reply. When what you need is other parents who have been through it. Company, not clinical advice. Support from other parents rather than professional advice. www.netmums.com/coffeehouse

If your child is disabled or has additional needs

• Contact (for families with disabled children). The charity for families with a disabled child, whether or not there is a diagnosis yet. A free helpline, webchat, benefits advice and local groups. In the early days after a diagnosis, or while you are still waiting for one, when you need someone warm and practical. Contact Helpline 0808 808 3555 · Mon-Fri 9.30am-5pm (Tue opens 10.15am) · Webchat and an online enquiry form via the website; bookable Listening Ear calls contact.org.uk/help-for-families/information-advice-services/our-helpline
• SENDIASS (your local SEND information and advice service). Every local authority in England funds a free, impartial advice service for parents of children with special educational needs: SEN support, EHC assessments and plans, exclusions, and disagreements with the school. Most offer a phone line, email and drop-ins. Before anything statutory. Search your borough’s name with SENDIASS, or use the national finder. England. Each local authority runs its own; the finder lists them all. councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/about-us-0/networks/information-advice-and-support-services-network/find-your-local-ias-service

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.