Co-parenting

Where to start

The route that helps most here is usually the one that lowers the conflict, not the one that treats the child. Mediation first.

• A family mediator. Mediators help two parents reach their own arrangements about children and money, without going to court. In most cases you have to attend a first meeting about mediation before a court will hear you. Early, and before positions harden. The Family Mediation Council lists accredited mediators by area. www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Citizens Advice. Free, independent advice on the practical layer: housing, benefits, debt, employment, and your rights when a family separates. When the worry is partly a practical problem wearing an emotional coat. Solving the practical part often lowers the temperature at home more than anything else will. www.citizensadvice.org.uk
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For co-parenting

• Cafcass (for separating parents). The official body that advises the family courts about children. A free parenting plan you can fill in together, plain factsheets on what happens if you go to court, and a course on parenting apart. Early, before positions harden. The parenting plan is worth doing whether or not a court is ever involved. www.cafcass.gov.uk/parent-carer-or-family-member
• Resolution. The body for family lawyers and mediators who sign up to a non-confrontational code. Free guides on separating with children, and a directory to find a member near you. When you need a lawyer or mediator and want one committed to keeping the temperature down. The guides are free; the professionals are not. The material on the site is free. Engaging a member for legal work is not. resolution.org.uk/looking-for-help
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• Gingerbread. The charity for single parents. Clear written guidance on money, housing, separation and co-parenting, and free membership of local and online groups. For the practical layer of parenting on your own. There is no longer anyone to ring; the information pages are the offer. The advice line closed in April 2025. The information pages remain. The advice service closed on 1 April 2025. No helpline or webchat. www.gingerbread.org.uk/information

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.