Bullying

Where to start

Tell the school first, in writing, and ask what they will do and by when. Ask for the designated safeguarding lead by name if you think your child is at risk.

• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• The designated safeguarding lead at your child’s school. Every school has one, by law. They are trained for exactly this conversation and they have the routes a parent does not. As soon as you have a concern about a child’s safety. Ask for them by role; you do not have to explain yourself to the office first.
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp

For bullying

• Coram Kidscape. The UK’s anti-bullying charity. A free Parent Advice Line by phone, WhatsApp or email, staffed by people who know how schools work. When you have raised bullying with the school and it has not stopped, or you want help preparing for that conversation. The phone hours are short, but WhatsApp and email are answered outside them. Kidscape Parent Advice Line 0300 102 4481 · Mon-Tue 9.30am-2.30pm; reduced over the summer holidays. Voicemail, email and WhatsApp accepted outside hours · If a child is at risk of harm now, do not wait for a reply: call the police on 101, or 999 if anyone is in immediate danger. coramkidscape.org.uk/parent-advice-line
• Anti-Bullying Alliance. Clear guidance on what counts as bullying, what a school in England must do about it, and how to raise it with them, from the body that sets the standard. Before the meeting with school, so you know what you are entitled to ask for. Information; Kidscape is the line to ring. anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/advice-and-support/advice-parents-and-carers
• NSPCC. The NSPCC helpline is for adults worried about a child. You do not have to be sure, you can call anonymously, and they will tell you whether it needs to go further and help you take that step. When something has been said or seen and you do not know what to do with it. Childline, 0800 1111, is the line for a child to call themselves. NSPCC Helpline (for adults) 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline
• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline

If your child is self-harming, or has spoken about not wanting to be here

• Sift (formerly Self-Injury Support). The UK’s self-harm charity. A free evening listening service by phone, text or email for anyone affected by self-harm, including parents, plus a guide written for family members. When you have found a mark and need to talk to someone who has had this conversation many times. Evenings only; outside those hours use the numbers at the top of this sheet. This service has limited helpline hours. Outside those hours, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Sift listening support 0808 800 8088 · Phone Mon, Tue and Thu 6pm-9pm; text Mon-Fri 6pm-9pm; email answered within a week · Outside those hours the phone line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. sift.org.uk/get-help/listening-support-services
• Alumina (online self-harm support for 10 to 17s). Free seven-week online support groups for ten to seventeen year olds who self-harm, small and anonymous, led by trained practitioners. Your child signs up themselves; under-fourteens need your permission. For a young person who will not talk to you but might talk in a group of people their age. Not for a crisis. For the young person. Not a crisis service. www.selfharm.co.uk

If the bullying is online and the platform has not acted

• Report Harmful Content. Help getting something taken down when you have reported it to the platform and nothing has happened: bullying, threats, impersonation, content about self-harm. After the in-app report has failed. They reply within three days. reportharmfulcontent.com

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.